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I was talking with some of my close friends (my chosen sisters) about how we

deal with stress on a regular basis.

One of them smokes, another one eats, the other one screams, and I, personally,

somatize my stress into pains and fear.

The conversation took a turn when one of them said that Ann should quit smoking.

I agreed. Another friend, Andrew jumped in calling on all of us, on our weaknesses

regarding dealing with stress: look at yourself! Nobody is perfect. Let's respect

each other. I agreed again.

The criticized friend, Ann, was very understanding and receptive and appreciated

the criticism given out of love and care. She's an enlightened one.

This situation made me think: When we see a friend with a destructive behavior

or bad habit, how should we give criticism and why? Is our intention genuinely

good? Why do we practice criticism, even the constructive ones, instead of giving

INCENTIVE?

To me, that was a tiny piece of enlightenment right there. How do we expect to do

"good" or add value when we act with arrogance? Even based on good intentions,

when we criticize, we hurt and humiliate. If the idea is to better something or

someone, an incentive is just the right thing we want to give. It shows possibilities

and gives hope.

How do you "criticize"? What's your real intention behind it? How would you give

incentive and shine a light to a dear person?

How do YOU do it?

Thanks for reading!

(In)Joy ❤

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